The struggle arrives on holidays, birthdays, and vacation times, but more than any other time, it arrives when I visit my children after the in-laws have been there. My daughter-in-law comes from a family who were blessed with money, and I can’t compete.
I’ve never wanted to compete with the money… I just want to love them.
In her mind, if I’m not giving her ‘things of value’ I’m not good enough. And she reminds me often that I’m not good enough to be part of her new little family.
Her new little family where my gene pool is carried through my son to their daughter…
I keep remembering a woman from their church at the wedding making a huge deal out of what an amazing family my son had married into, because they had money, connections, and ‘a life.’ All while dismissing me as the lowly poverty stricken in-law… You know, the one whose son their daughter moved in with, when they booted her ass out, because she wasn’t behaving herself? The one who raised a mature young man who wouldn’t leave their daughter on the street when they put her there? Yeah, that was me… the one so casually dismissed by their friends from church as ‘not good enough’.
Their money helps them to see my son and his family more often than I get to, and even helps them to take expensive vacations with them, to exotic places, I may never go. And that’s wonderful. I’m glad my son and his family are getting those experiences. I’m happy for them, that they have money and can afford such luxuries.
I pray every single day that my son and his family keep God first, and live their lives for Christ. I know he’s joined the military to be able to provide well for his family, and his wife is even doing her part by making baked goods and selling them to make money from home while she raises their beautiful baby girl. They are working together to make a home, and I love them both more than I even know how to express. Because, I love them.
I pray God blesses them mightily, from his abundance, and I know he will.
My son calls frequently, and we skype so I can see his baby girl as often as possible. And I know she’ll grow up knowing who Grandma is, and loving me, as I love her.
My prayer is that somehow God opens up those abundant blessings to allow me experiences with my son and his family, where I’m not treated like a second class citizen because I wasn’t born to wealth, as she feels she was.
Maybe, some day… maybe?
I pray she’s never a single mom who has to work hard to support and raise four children, and earn her way in a world where single moms are rejected and scorned. And I pray that she never experiences a world where she’s rejected because she isn’t wealthy and blessed with abundance.
And more than anything else, I pray that she never is treated by anyone as she has treated me.
Right now, I just want to Thank God, and express my gratitude that God’s blessings have been Enough. Enough to keep shelter over my children’s heads, enough to provide for my children, enough to keep us warm, safe, and protected in the storms of life that I’ve experienced. I am grateful for God’s blessings, every single day. For every single blessing, I’m eternally grateful.